


Trance

by CorpusInvictus



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorpusInvictus/pseuds/CorpusInvictus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Star Trek XI Kink Meme prompt: "So, you know how Vulcans can heal themselves by going into a healing trance? Right. Well, Spock gets injured and does that. Jim, being the smitten man he is (though Spock doesn't know that) sits with him in Sickbay while he's trancing it out. And, since Spock's unconscious, he talks to him. Says all manner of things he would never say to conscious Spock. Okay he doesn't know that the nature of the Vulcan healing trance means Spock can hear every word he says and will remember it when he wakes up."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trance

Hey. Bones told me he put you in a private room for your healing trance. It is a trance, isn't it? Looks an awful damn lot like a coma. Actually, it looks...

Anyway. Alpha shift is over so I thought I'd come... you know. Sit with you. Even though you can't hear me. It's one of those illogical things we humans do, hang out with unconscious people because we think they can hear us. We hope they do.

I kinda hope you don't, though, because that was a stupid thing you did today. And I'm going to tell you why it was stupid, and it's going to be awesome because you can't argue with me, except I really wish you were awake so you _could_ argue with me and...

Better damn well be a trance, Spock. If this is a coma I'll make another dent in that Vulcan skull of yours.

I hope you don't feel that in the trance, by the way. A fucking _boulder_ , Spock. And I could've just ducked out of the way if you'd warned me - I took my combat courses and my survival courses, I know how to duck when there's a fucking _rock_ coming at my head - but you had to push me out of the way and...

And I've never heard you make a noise like that before. It takes something excruciating to get you to even wince, and to hear you- to hear-

God _damn_ , Spock. It was so stupid of you.

Hang on.

Before you ask, that wasn't sniffling. I think I'm allergic to those stupid purple flowers back on that stupid tectonic-crazy planet and... and why the hell am I defending myself to someone in a coma? A trance. I meant a trance. God, Spock, you look half dead just lying there and...

Damn it, Spock.

(long pause)

Did you know... Well, of course you don't because I never talk about my mom, because it feels wrong to talk about her when you don't even have yours anymore, and... God, Spock, I still have nightmares about that. Anyone who says Vulcans can't feel... they're so fucking wrong, Spock. I saw you. I saw how much it shattered you. And I can't- I can't talk about Mom when you're still so heartbroken over your own.

But you're in a trance and you're never going to remember this, so here goes. My mom got in a hoverbike accident when I was five. She hadn't met Frank yet so it was just the three of us - me, Mom, and Sam - and... you wouldn't understand, because your dad's an ambassador and he's a Vulcan and even though I know he misses your mom just as much as you do, he's better at dealing with it and Mom's, just, not...

Anyway, it was the first year that Sam and I were in school at the same time - she didn't have to stay home with me anymore - and Dad had this hoverbike in the garage. It was a piece of shit, Spock, seriously - he'd bought it to fix it up someday, and then the Kelvin happened and...

Anyway, she didn't know how much of a piece of shit it was, or maybe she did and just didn't care, but she sent us off to school one day and then went home and dug it out of the garage. And she fueled it up and checked all the basic parts - but Mom wasn't on the Engineering track, she was all about Tactical, like Chekov - so she assumed it was fine when it wasn't, and she took it out for a ride, God knows why...

She wrecked it, Spock. Wrapped the thing around a tree. She'd have been dead if she hadn't been wearing a helmet - always pissed her off that I got my own bike later on and never wore a helmet, said I was testing fate and generally being a moron, but...

She was unconscious when Grandad took us to the hospital. And she was kind of bloody and really damn pale and I thought she was dead. Sam and Grandad told me she wasn't, but God, Spock, she was just lying there. Not moving. Barely breathing.

And I thought - maybe if I loved her enough, she'd come back. So the three of us sat with her for awhile, Grandad holding one hand and me holding the other - Sam was too grown-up for mushy stuff, he said, but he was worried too, you could tell because he kept scowling at her and wiping his nose on his sleeve. But I sat there and just started up this silent chant in my head, all about how much I loved her and wanted her to come back and it wasn't fair because we already didn't have a dad and we needed her and-

I guess you know how that ends. She's stationed on Starbase 12, for God's sake, so of course you know. You're not stupid. Well, you're not stupid unless we beam down in the middle of an earthquake our sensors never picked up, and you better believe I'm gonna chew heads off in the Science department to make sure they do better maintenance checks on the computers, but anyway. Obviously she lived. But I was so scared, Spock. I was scared because I needed her. And I loved her. And I wasn't sure she knew how much.

And...

And.

Your fingers are cold.

Why are your fingers cold if you're in a healing trance?

Here, maybe this will help.

I swear to God, if Bones bursts in here and sees me holding your hand, I'm never going to hear the end of it.

Anyway.

... I need you, Spock.

And not just because you're the best First Officer anyone could ask for, even though that's true. I'm so grateful you came back to us, Spock. To me. I feel like some days I don't know what I was thinking, taking them up on the Captain thing, and we'd have died a dozen times over if you weren't here helping me out. What other Captain in the Fleet has a Vulcan who can compute eighteen different equations in his head in the space of a nanosecond? Who else has a First Officer who takes boulders to the head so his human Captain doesn't... Doesn't...

Spock. You can't keep doing this to me. That's three times you've been put in Sick Bay because of me. And this time it's got you in a co- a trance. And I can't... I don't.

I don't want to do this without you.

I guess, since you're unconscious and all, I can tell you this. There's another Spock out there. He's a lot older than you are - a _lot_ older than you are, and I had no idea Vulcans lived that long, holy crap - and he's from a different timeline. But he had a Jim in his time, too. And they were... They...

God, Spock, they were _everything_ to each other. They started out like us- Well, no. They didn't. I'm pretty sure they didn't shoot each other out the airlock or strangle each other or needle each other about our dead parents. But they did start off as Captain and First Officer. And they had to figure each other out, learn each other. And they, uh. I think. I think they loved each other. I'm sure they did.

And I've tried, I've really tried to make sure knowing that wouldn't influence my relationship with you. I mean, hell, you were still with Uhura up until the end of our first year on the Enterprise. And like you said, it's an alternate timeline. Things won't work out for us the way they did for them. That other Spock... his Jim knew his father. Knew George Kirk, that is, not your dad. Well, he knew your dad, too. Shit, this is confusing.

But I can't help it, Spock. I... God, if you'd melded with him, if you'd felt what he felt. He's so heartbroken. You can't always see it in his face, but if you go into his mind... He's torn in half, Spock. He's missing a huge chunk of himself. And he can't get it back - I think his Jim died a long time ago. And he's still grieving. Because of how much he loved him. Because of how much he got loved back.

And I... I...

I love you, Spock.

I don't know when it happened, because I was trying really fucking hard to make sure it didn't. But you're brilliant, and you have this great sense of humor that no one gets but me, and you're... God, Spock, you're everything. You're _everything_. I would do anything to keep you here with me. Keep you on this ship, keep you...

Just keep you.

So don't... don't keep taking these bullets for me. Please. Because I-

Oh, hey Bones.

Shut up, I am not holding his hand. I was just checking his pulse. You sure he's not dead?

For fuck's sake, it was a _joke_. He seems cold, was all. Might wanna jack up the temp controls in here until he comes out of it.

... sure hope so, Bones. We need him.

Yeah. Especially me. G'night, Bones.

*******

Enter.

Spock! When did you get out of Sick Bay?

Yeah. I keep telling you he's hypo-happy and you never believe me.

What did you need to discuss, Spock?

... uh huh.

... uh huh.

... uh _huh_.

Oh.

I, uh.

Yeah, he kind of failed to mention that you'd be able to. You know. Hear stuff.

The _whole_ time?

Uh huh.

You ... what?

Seriously?

Look, just because some other versions of us-

No, really Spock, you don't have to-

Oh.

You do?

Well, yeah, I do find it hard to believe. You never even gave off a hint of-

What do you mean, 'clueless?'

Spock, First Officers throughout the Fleet put their lives on the line for their Captains. How the hell was I supposed to-

Am I gonna get to finish a single sentence- mmph.

Mmmmm.

What?

No, no, by all means. Continu- mmph.

God, Spock, you have no idea.

I thought you were dead, Spock.

Yeah, well, don't do that agai-ooooh.

Oh, _shit_ that feels good.

What? No, don't fucking stop, you were just-

Oh. Oh, yeah. Bed is definitely a good idea.

Oof!

Or the floor. No, really, floor's fine, now get that gorgeous mouth back here and- mmph.

Mmm.

_Mmmmm..._

What?

Oh, fuck, say 'penetration' again.

Holy shit, Vulcan dirty talk is the best kind of-

In the drawer, bedside table, good God you're impatie- mmph.

Shut up, it does not smell like strawberries.

...

Okay, maybe it smells a little like strawberries.

Look, you take what you can get at Starbase suppliers. They were fresh out of 'inoffensive to Vulcans' flavor. Now shut up and fuck m- mmph.

Fuck.

_Fuck._

Fuck, Spock, just do it already.

Now.

NOW!

Nnnnngh.

Move.

I can handle it, Spock, now move.

Seriously, if you don't fucking move, I'm gonna _uuuungh..._

Oh God, right there.

Oh.

_Oh..._

Spock, Spock, SpockSpock _SpockSpockI'mgonna..._

Ohhh...

Love you. Love you so much...

*******

Hmm.

Hmmm?

Hmm. Time izzat?

S'your fault, anyway.

Cuz you fucked me stupid.

You do too understand the phrasing. You just like to play dumb when humans say something illogical.

Thought so.

Hmm?

I, uh... Yeah. I meant it.

You do?

Hmmm...

Hmm?

Dunno if I have enough energy to make it to the bed.

No, really, the floor's good.

... seriously?

Without even touching me?

You're just fucking with me, aren't you?

It does sound intriguing.

God, you're insatiable. Fine, let's get in bed. But I'm holding you to that telepathic orgasm thing.

... hey, Spock?

I'm glad you're all right.

What's that mean?

... _oh_.

No, I like it. I, uh. Wow.

Just surprised, is all.

Yes.

God, yes Spock.

Yes, t'hy'la. Yes.


End file.
